Blinded By You
by paramoredork
Summary: I was born into a world of darkness. I've never been able to see the ocean for myself. I can only sit on the warm sand and listen to the waves as they come crashing into the shore.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Spencer's POV**

I was born into a world of darkness.

I've never been able to see the ocean for myself.

I can only sit on the warm sand and listen to the waves as they come crashing into the shore.

I only know the true colors of anything because of what other people have told me.

I find it kind of depressing really.

Extremely depressing.

I'm twenty-two years old, and I have never seen the faces of my family, or any other person in this world for that matter. My own face is a mystery to me. For I have never seen it. I've been told from a

lot of people that I'm pretty, or that they find me attractive.

But I can't see them

Sure, I can feel people's faces and some what be able to tell what they look like, but it will never be the same as if I could really see what they look like.

I wonder almost all the time what it would be like if I could see.

Maybe I could go out clubbing with friends.

Maybe I could meet girl and fall in love.

Even though I'm blind I do ;however, know that I like women.

I've tried dating a couple of guys, but it never worked out. I could never feel a spark.

I've never had a girlfriend though.

I have been set up on many dates by my friends, but they never work out either. I always get too nervous or the person I'm on the date with never calls me back.

I guess that most girls don't like that I'm blind. You would think that after all this failure at dating that I would just give up.

But I definitely know that I'm attracted to women.

So I am not going to give up.

I'd love to one day marry the girl of my dreams and have a family.

But these dreams seem way to far off.

I doubt that they will ever come true.

After all, I am blind and twenty-two.

**Ashley's POV**

I was lounging out in the backyard by the pool.

Just enjoying my day.

Work had been overwhelming.

Ethan was riding me. When would he realize that now I'm a producer and things will be done, once they are done?

So I decided to take some time off in the backyard. The sun was warm and inviting. So here I was in a lawn chair soaking up the beautiful rays the sun has to offer.

Everything around me was quiet and I was at total peace.

But of course that never lasts too long.

"Dawn get back here!" I hear Jenny yell from the open door leading into the kitchen.

I look up at her voice just in time to feel a small body collide into mine.

"Momma!" Dawn yelps as she climbs into my lap and smears something all over my stomach.

I hold my three year old at arms length and see her face covered in chocolate pudding.

"Did you get chocolate pudding all over momma?" Jenny questions.

Dawn looks down at my stomach then back over at Jenny. Her eyes start to swell up with tears and I pull her into me, hugging her.

"Dawn, honey, look at me," I speak softly.

I tilt her head up, and I see her bottom lip trembling.

"I'm not mad honey, I swear. It will come right off. No problem. See?" I say as I take a finger and wipe some of the pudding off of me with a smile. I lick the pudding off my finger and she smiles wildly.

"And on the bright side, it taste good," I say as I place a light kiss on the tip of her button nose.

I pick her arm and place her on my hip as I walk towards Jenny.

"Hey baby," she smiles before she places a kiss on my lips. "How was work?"

"Same as usual. You know Ethan. He's so god damn stubborn. He has absolutely no patience."

"Ash, I told you, don't use that kind of language in front of Dawn. I don't want our daughter to have that kind of vocabulary at three years old," She scolded me.

I look at Dawn and see the top of her curly brown hair. She has her face tucked into my neck and is currently taking a short nap. I peck Jen's lips and smile at her, "I'm sorry Mrs. Davies. Now what's for

dinner. I'm starved."

"Well, I made your favorite, steak and potatoes."

"Yes! I love you, Baby."

"I love you too."

After dinner and a highly needed shower on my part, Jenny and I placed Dawn into her bed and of course, read her a bed time story.

After we put Dawn to bed I scooped Jen up in my arms and carried her to our room.

"Why, Mrs. Davies is there a reason as to why you are carrying me?" she asked with a smirk.

"Well, I thought that my wife should always be carried, her feet shall never touch the ground. Never!" I exclaimed with a slight laugh.

I placed Jenny on our bed and kissed her deeply. Her hands found their way to the front of my shirt and she started to unbutton it.

"I'm guessing I'm not getting any sleep tonight."

Jenny giggled and pulled me fully on top of her.

"You would have guessed right."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Spencer's POV**

As I step down from the last step I place a hand on the wall.

I run my fingers along the texture of the wall. The surface of the wall is rough and bumpy.

I can tell by this that I am now in the dining room. As soon as the wall turns into a smooth surface I will have finally reached my destination.

The kitchen.

I am really craving some Captain Crunch.

I might only be twenty-two but Captain Crunch has always been my favorite food.

My family has made the walls the way they are so I can be able to tell which room I am currently in. Each wall in this house has a different texture.

It comes in handy a lot.

I hand hits a smooth surface and I know that I am now currently in the kitchen.

I hear pots and pans being moved around, and the sound of heavy footsteps. I can already tell that the sound of those footsteps belong to my father.

"Hey dad," I say as I run my fingers along the counter top until I feel the little notch in the granite. The seat that I claim as mine is always directly beneath it. I grab the edge of the seat and gently

place my self in it.

"Morning, honey. How did you sleep?" He asked with genuine interest.

"You know, the same as always. I had a dream this time though. I was sitting at a coffee shop and a girl came in. She was beautiful. She had dark hair and dark eyes. She was just, amazing. God I just wish I could see," I sighed.

"I know honey, and we are working on that, things like this take time. You know that." He said as he started to rummage around in the top cabinet to get my favorite cereal out.

"I know, dad, it's just... it's not fair. I didn't do anything to deserve this. I don't know what any body in this world looks like. The girl in my dream is probably just my mind playing a sick joke on me.

Besides this whole list thing is ridiculous. I've been on this list for three years, and still I am blind. How hard is it to find a donor?" I rant.

"It's not fair, I know, and you know that I would do anything to give you sight honey. We all know this. But you will have it soon. Don't worry. Soon enough you'll be able to see world and everything it

has to offer to you. And about the list thing, there were many people ahead of you, Spencer. It's a lot harder than you think it is actually. Just ask your mother," He states as he places the bowl of

golden crunchy

deliciousness in front of me. He places the spoon in my hand and I give him a slight smile.

"Thanks, dad. I don't know how you do it, but you some how make everything a little bit better."

"It's my job as a parent," He says before I hear him fumbling with some dishes and placing them into the dish washer.

"Speaking about jobs, has Glen found one yet? I know Stacy was riding him about that," I ask after I swallow a mouthful of my breakfast.

"Yeah, actually he called yesterday. He got a job as a club bouncer. He seems happy with it. I'm happy for him," my father states with certainty.

I nod my head and push my empty bowl away.

"Thanks, dad, I'm gonna go listen to the t.v."

"You need any help?"

"No thank you. I got it. I'm not completely helpless you know," I say kind of agitated.

"I know honey," He sighs.

I get up from my seat and run my hands along the walls until I feel the wavy texture of the living room walls.

Once I have placed my self onto the couch. I feel around the table and find the remote.

I really love my family.

They got a braille remote for me. I run my fingers around the buttons and settle for the food channel. Even though I can't see what they are doing I can picture it in my head.

And what I picture is absolutely beautiful.

As I sit here on the couch listening to the work of chefs I kind of go into a little world of my own.

A world where I wonder what my life would be like once I can see.

Maybe I could get a job.

Maybe I could become a chef like the people on my television.

But once again these dreams seem too far away for me reach.

It feels like I'm the failure of this family.

Clay is successful. He has a family and he can't get any happier.

Hell even Glen is Married.

He's with Stacy and now he has a job he's happy with.

My older brothers have moved out and I'm stuck here.

All because my parents think it would to dangerous to life on my own.

I'm tired of not being able to do anything for myself.

I'm tired of being a burden.

I'm tired of being the failure.

**Ashley's POV**

The rays of the sun come pouring into my room and I squint as I struggle to see through the blinding sun.

I roll over to wrap my arms around Jenny just to feel cold sheets.

I look over at the night stand and see that it's 10:30.

I actually got to sleep in today.

Even though it is my day off, normally Dawn always comes running into our room and eight in the morning demanding breakfast.

How little kids and get up so early I will never know.

I drag myself out of my bed and up on a button up shirt and some boy shorts.

I walk down the stair case and see my family in the kitchen.

Jen is currently at the sink scrubbing some dishes. She has her light brown hair pulled up into a bun and she looks absolutely sexy in her short shorts and cut off t-shirt. I walk behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

"Hey baby," she greets me with a morning kiss.

"Hey, I missed you this morning," I slightly pout.

"Yeah, well, just because you like morning sex doesn't mean that I will always stay for it. Besides, the little munchkin over there was hungry for some Captain Crunch."

I release Jenny from my grasp and go over to the counter to be across from Dawn. I grab her spoon and steal a bite of her Captain Crunch.

"Momma, that's mine!" She squeals.

"What? It's my cereal you're eating," I counter.

"Well, It's my favorite too," She says with confidence.

"I swear, Ash, If she didn't have my blue eyes, she would be your clone," Jen laughed.

"I'm just like, momma?" Dawn questioned.

"Yes, you are honey, you are exactly like your momma. And I love both of you," she says as she wraps her arms around me and kisses the back of my neck.

"We love you too, baby."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Ashley's POV**

"Ashley, this album needs to get done. We don't have anymore time for you to just sit there and do what ever you like," Ethan huffs loudly in my ear.

I sigh loudly back at him as I pull my car keys from the ignition and push my car door open.

I look up at the sign the reads 'Starbucks' and I suddenly feel a sense of relief wash over me.

Yeah, Jen gave me a mug of coffee before I left this morning, but that was definitely not going to hold me all day.

I am definitely the world's biggest caffeine addict.

Just the thought of coffee makes me smile.

Besides it is after all my lunch break.

Therefore I have the right to leave work and grab a cup of hot coffee.

I mean it is not that far from work. So everyone will live. I'm not that far away so if they really need me they can call, and I will be there in no less than five minutes.

But of course when I told my assistant that I was leaving Ethan over heard with his gigantic ears and insisted that he come with.

The bastard doesn't even like coffee.

He just wanted to come so he could ride my ass.

Just like he always does. Why should this day be any different.

The only days that he actually does leave me alone is the days I have off.

Even then sometimes he will call and see when I am going to get something done, or if I will meet him some place so we can talk about something.

When will it sink into his thick skull that my day off means that I am away from work.

My day off means that work does not even invade my mind.

My day off is the day that I spend all my time with my family.

And that is how it is going to stay.

I don't care if he is my boss or not.

A day off means a day off.

"Look Ethan, stop riding my ass. I came here for coffee not to have you be my butt monkey," I say as I step in the long line of people waiting to place their orders. Of course he is right there behind.

Give me a break, for Christ sake.

I slip off my sun glasses and stare at the menu.

What type of coffee will I have today?

Maybe a mocha, or a vanilla latte.

The caramel cappuccino is looking good to.

Maybe I will get a blueberry muffin too.

"This is serious Ashley," he huffs even louder than the last time.

Thanks for ruining my concentration butt monkey.

"I know, now shut up before I talk to big boss and get you fired."

"You wouldn't do it," he challenges.

I give him a side glare before stepping up to the register.

"Try me."

He runs a hand through his scruffy brown hair and shuts up.

Good.

"Welcome to Starbucks. How may I help you?" The teenaged boy behind the counter asks.

I glance at the menu one more time before deciding.

"I will have a tall vanilla latte and a blueberry muffin," I stay as I pull out a ten dollar bill from my wallet.

After I get my change I walk over to the pick up line and take a look around. I see an old married couple sitting in the back .

There is a mother with her husband and baby in the right corner.

I have seen them all in here almost every day I come in here.

But there are some new people here. I see a man with dark hair, and he is with girl. She looks like she is in her twenties and from what I can tell she is reading a book. Except she's reading the book

with her fingers. I look more closely and I see that her eyes are clouded over.

She must be blind.

I watch as she runs her fingers over the last sentence on the page and turns it.

She looks beautiful.

She's sort of small, but she looks like she can hold her own.

Also she has blonde hair that flows down past her shoulders.

"Ma'am, ma'am. Your coffee and muffin," pulls me out from my stare at the girl.

I smile at the girl behind the counter and grab my coffee and muffin. I take a sip from my cup and I am instantly relaxed.

As I head for the door of the coffee shop I can't help but look back at the blonde girl one last time.

I walk in through the front door and I am hit in the face with such a wonderful smell.

It smells like Jen is cooking chicken and dumplings.

Another favorite of mine.

I hear the television playing an episode of Sponge Bob.

I walk into the living room and I see Dawn passed out on the couch with a photo album faced open on the floor.

I pick up the album and smile as I look at the pictures.

The album started with just a picture of me and Jen, but then as the pictures continued you could see Jen's stomach getting bigger and bigger.

Until the very last picture.

It was a picture of Jen laying in the hospital bed with Dawn in her arms and me kissing her forehead.

If I could replay any day in my life over, that would be day. Because that was the day that my family became whole.

I close the album and place it on the table before scooping Dawn up and placing her upstairs in her bed.

As I walk into the dining room I see Jen setting up the table.

I walk up behind and place a kiss on her neck.

"Hey baby," she says as she turns around and plants a kiss on my lips. "How was work?"

"Ok, but I don't want to talk about that. I just want to be here with here with you and enjoy dinner. Because I love you, and only you," I say as I kiss her once more before we sat down for a quiet

dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Song lyrics are in italics. Song is Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin.**

**Spencer's POV**

The lyrics ease their way into my ears and I know I am instantly in heaven.

The words are so simple but so amazing.

At this moment I only know one thing.

He simply has the voice of a god.

Even on my darkest days I could simply listen to his beautiful voice and things would seem to be a little better. With out him I don't know what my life would be like. Of course I'm talking about the lead

singer of Breaking Benjamin. I know nothing about him.

Hell I don't even know his name.

But what I do know is that he definitely has the voice of a god.

_Put me to sleep, Evil Angel._

_Open your wings, Evil Angel. (oohh)_

_Fly over me, Evil Angel._

_Why can't I breathe, Evil Angel?_

Yep the voice of god.

As I continue to listen to the song I secretly wish that an angel would find me. Because I would I give anything and everything I have to be able to see. I want to be able to walk along the beach and

notice everything in sight. I want to see little kids run through the sand and splash in the water. I want to be able to have the family I have always wanted and be able to watch them grow and begin

to have families of their own.

I know that all of this will happen one day.

But that day just seems to far off.

Too far away for me to grasp.

I continue to listen to lyrics more and I wish and evil angel would come put me to sleep.

"SPENCER!" I hear being yelled into my ear as my ear buds are ripped from my ears.

"Holy hell what?" I scream back.

"hey, how you doing?" I hear Carmen laugh.

"You know it's funny, I was just wishing for an evil angel," I say as turn my i-pod off and sit up on my bed.

"Breaking Benjamin?" She questioned.

"What, they are my favorite band," I point out.

"Yeah I know. I know everything about you. Your favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip, your favorite snack is German roasted nuts. Also I know that you like to use Dial for men soap because you like the smell," she states calmly.

"Whoa, if I didn't know any better, Carmen I would say that you were in love with me or something," I laugh slightly.

I feel her move on my bed as she sits closer to me.

"About that," she stutters out.

I feel her hand cover mine and I flip my hand over so our palms are touching and inter locked our fingers.

"Spencer, I know that we are friends, and I would never want to ruin that, but I have started to have feelings for you. I have tried not to think about it, but the more I try not to, the more I do. I love

everything about you Spencer. I would love to take you out some time. I don't know maybe, to dinner or maybe we could go to a carnival?"

I sat there.

I just sat there.

These words have never been said to me.

Never.

I feel her weight get off the bed and I hear her steps walking towards the door.

"I'm just going to go, bye Spencer." I hear her say.

I wait a few more seconds before I make my decision.

"Carmen, wait."

I hear her foot steps stop.

So I get off my bed and walk in the direction of her foot steps. Once I reach her I grab onto one of her hands.

"Don't go. Stay. Please?"

**Ashley's POV**

I walk in through the front door and I am exhausted.

Ethan knew what today was. He knew that I couldn't work today. He also knows that I would give up my days off for the next month if he would give me this night, but of course not.

He is such a dick!

I walk into the dining room and see the table set up. There are candles and rose petals on the table and dinner plates are set out.

It only makes me want to kill Ethan that much more.

Jen comes walking in with a bottle of wine in her hand.

I go up to her to give her kiss and she brushes pass me.

"Baby, don't be like that," I sigh.

"Don't be like what?" She asks with venom dripping from every word.

"Like 'oh don't touch me because you haven't been home all day'. Don't be like that," I say as I walk closer to her.

"But it's true, Ash! I swear that job means more to you than our marriage. It's our four year anniversary and you had to work," she huffs out.

"Baby, I tried to get off work. You know that. I begged Ethan but he wouldn't let me leave until I finished the album tonight. And you and I both know that if I had to choose between you and dawn or

my job, that I would choose you guys. I love you all so much. You know that," I say as I try to pull Jen into my arms.

"Enjoy your dinner, I already ate. I made roast beef. Tonight you can sleep on the couch," she said as she started to head up the stairs.

"Baby, the couch really? It's our anniversary don't do this."

She continued up the stairs without looking back at me.

"Baby!"

I heard our bedroom door close and I huffed loudly.

I walked to the closet in the hallway and grabbed a blanket and a pillow.

After I set up the couch I unbuttoned my shirt and took off my pants leaving myself in a tank top and boy shorts.

It's our anniversary and I get the couch.

As I settle into the couch and pull the blanket over my body I decide that I will make this up to Jen, and that later on I will sneak up into the room to cuddle with her.

I huff loudly as I flip the television on and start to relax.

Being in the dog house sucks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Spencer's POV**

I shifted nervously on the couch and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans. I ran my hands over the top of my shirt feeling for any wrinkles. Tonight Carmen was going to take me to a carnival and I

was more than excited to go, but I'm also extremely nervous. I know that I have been on dates before, but this date is different. Carmen actually likes me. This date was not a set up. Carmen is

actually taking an interest me, and I know that she will call me back tomorrow. Who knows this could be the start of something pretty great. I heard the door bell ring and I immediately jumped up off

the couch. I run my hands through my hair and straighten my clothes again. I hear the foot steps of my mother making their way to the door and the door slightly creak open.

"Hello, Carmen," my mother said politely as she opened the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Carlin. Is Spencer ready?" She asked politely back.

"I believe so."

I placed my hand on the wall and found my way to the door. I felt Carmen grab a hand of mine and place something in it.

"They are tulips. I know that they are your favorite," I swear I could hear the smile in her voice.

I felt the flowers being taken away from my hands and I sort of reached out to them.

"It's ok, Spencer. I am just going to go put them in water. You have tonight, and Carmen please have her home before two."

"Mom, I am twenty-two," I argued.

"I know but I worry about you. Have fun," she said as she placed a kiss on my cheek before I heard her foot steps retreat.

I felt Carmen grab my hand and lead me to her car.

Here goes nothing.

The carnival music filled my ears and a smile immediately broke out onto my face.

Even though I could not see what was going on around me, I could hear it, and it sounded amazing.

I could hear the laughter of children, and the screams of people as they ride the rides. I felt Carmen squeeze my hand and pull in me a certain direction.

My nostrils become filled with a sweet smell. It smells amazing.

"One please," I hear come from Carmen's mouth. "Thank you. Here Spence, open your mouth."

"Why," I question.

"Just do it, please," I hear her practically beg.

I sigh softly before opening my mouth.

I feel something soft touch my lips before it is gently pushed further into my mouth.

As soon as it touches my tongue it begins to melt into strawberry flavored sugar.

"Mmm, cotton candy."

"Other favorite of yours," she says with a slight laugh.

We walked around for a little bit and finished up our cotton candy.

"Hey, lets go play a game," I hear Carmen whisper closely to my ear, causing goosebumps to form all over my body.

She grabs my hand again and inter laces our fingers.

We walked about a few more feet before I felt Carmen step behind me.

I felt a ball being placed into my hand.

Carmen's hand grabbed my hand that held the ball and placed her other hand on my waist.

"I'm just going to guide you. When you feel me move your arm forward, just let the ball go," she instructed.

Her hand cupped hand gently and and swung my arm forward. As I was told I let the ball go and heard the clanging of what sounds like bottles.

"We have a winner!" A big, deep voice boomed.

I felt Carmen reach her arm out then place something soft into my hands.

"A cute stuffed panda, for an extremely cute girl," I hear Carmen whisper to me, and those goosebumps make themselves appear again.

"Hey, Carmen, lets go on the Ferris wheel," I suggest.

" I thought you were afraid of heights?"

"Well, I will have you there to protect me."

"Ok"

She grabs my hand again and within about two minutes we are being placed on one of seats of the Ferris wheel.

The wheel began to move and it would occasionally stop.

I felt the wheel stop and the wind was kind of strong.

"Are we at the top?" I questioned.

"Yep," Carmen spoke softly.

My grip on Carmen's hand grew tighter and she laughed.

"It's ok Spencer I got you. I'm not going to let anything hurt you."

The hand that wasn't being squeezed to death my mine found it's way to my cheek.

I felt Carmen coming closer to me, and I began to lean in to.

Our lips locked into passionate kiss.

We kissed for a couple of minutes before the wheel began to move again. I rested my head on Carmen's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me.

I know this is only the first date, but I can see myself falling for her.

**Ashley's POV**

I felt a strong blow hit me in the stomach and my breath is instantly taken away.

"Oh, shit!" I some what hollered.

I opened my eyes and saw Dawn looked down at me with a smile on her face.

"Morning Mama!"

I looked around me and saw that I had fallen asleep on the couch. Stupid me! I forgot to sneak up into our room last night.

I swear I am going to kill Ethan.

I hear Jen's foot steps walk towards the door and I shoot up off the couch with Dawn in my arms.

"Hey, baby where you going?" I questioned.

"They called me into the office today. They need me. Watch Dawn til I get back. It's the least you can do." She said in a harsh tone before she slammed the door shut.

Well some one was still pissed.

I had to make this up to Jen.

I just had to.

"Hey Dawn, how about we go shopping today and then you go stay with grandpa?"

"Yay! Grandpa!"

"Ok well lets go get dressed then," I say as I bound up the steps.

Currently I'm standing in a flower shop looking at all the flowers as Dawn runs around and smells every single flower.

I walk over to the red tulips and pick them up.

Tulips have always been Jen's favorite.

I walk up the counter and pull out my wallet.

"Dawn, get over here," I say all motherly like.

The cashier smiles down at Dawn before saying, "She looks just like you. She's adorable. Would you like a lollipop?"

Dawn nods her head before the lady hands her a sugar.

"What do you say Dawn?"

She pulls the sugar out of mouth for a few seconds to mumble a quiet 'thank you.'

"Will that be all for you?" The cashier asked.

"Um, actually, do you have any hazel nut chocolate here? I'm kind of in the dog house right now."

"Yes, we certainly do."

I light the last candle on the table

and pour the wine into the glasses.

Dawn is at my dad's and now I'm just waiting for Jen to get home.

I hear the front door shut and I immediately walk to the door.

I take Jen's jacket off of her and hang it up for her.

"Baby, look, I know that I have been carried away in work, and that I haven't been able to be home, and spend time with you, but I wanna make it up. I know it's a day late but here." I say as I grab

her hand and lead her into the dining room.

"I want you to know that I love you, and that I would do anything for you. So Dawn is at my dad's house tonight and if you will let me I would love to spend the rest of the night showing you how much

I love you."

A small smile broke out onto her face before she pulled me into a lip searing kiss. She pulled out of the kiss and hugged me tightly.

" I love you too, Ashley. Never forget that."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Spencer's POV**

It's been about a month since my date with Carmen and things with us have been great. She treats me like I am the most important person in the world. We have been on a couple of more dates since

the first one, but lately it seems like Carmen is kind of pulling away from me. And I have no clue as to why she would do this. The reason I have come up with this is because I have called her a couple

of times and she has not called me back. I am starting to think that Carmen is just like every other girl I have tried to date.

A jerk.

I felt my phone ringing in my pocket and I quickly flipped it open and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I questioned

"Um, hey, Spencer. It's me Carmen. I was wondering if maybe I could come over today?" She asked kind of hesitantly.

"Carmen, I really don't think that is such a great idea."

"Please, Spencer. I am begging you. Please let me come over?" She begged.

"Fine, the front door should be unlocked. Just come right on in. I am in the living room." I sighed as I flipped the phone shut.

Here I was thinking that maybe Carmen was different, and now she is probably on her way here to tell me that she no longer wants to date me. I swear I am going to be a lonely cat lady.

Maybe I will one hundred forty-seven cats.

Maybe I will name one peaches.

I heard foot steps make their toward me and then stop.

"Hey," I heard Carmen say softly.

"How did you get here so fast?" I questioned.

"Um, I was already in the drive way. Hope you don't mind. I just really need to see you today."

I nodded my head slightly before motioning to the seat beside me.

"Take a seat."

I heard her feet move across the floor until I felt her weight settle on the couch beside me.

"I'm sorry that this is on such short notice. This is really just on the feeling of the moment." She started as she reached over and grabbed my hand.

I pulled my hand away from hers, and I could hear the sudden change in her voice.

"What's wrong Spencer?" She asked with pure concern.

"I could ask you the same thing." I hissed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I have tried to call you the past couple of days, and you didn't call back. I know that our last date wasn't that great, but I thought that I meant something to you." I turned my back to her and wiped

the tears that had begun to form. I wasn't going to let her see me cry. I was actually starting to feel something for her. I guess my feelings don't mean anything to any one.

Even her.

"Spencer, the only reason that I didn't call back was because my phone was dead, and I lost the charger. So I am sorry if I made you feel less important to me because of that." She explained.

"Then why have you been pulling away from me?"

"You want the truth?"

"No, lie to me," I said my voice full of sarcasm.

"Well, I have started to have really strong feelings for you Spencer. I have never really had a person that I am serious about and it scares me. Because every time I think about you, I just want to have

you in my arms and kiss you until you're breathless. Spencer, I can't keep my mind off of you and that scares the hell out of me. And I came here today because I wanted to ask you if you would want

to be my girlfriend?"

"Really?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I know that this is a little soon, but I love you, Spencer, and I really want you to be my girlfriend. So will you?"

"Well, I will have to think about it." I joked.

"Come on Spence, seriously?"

I grabbed her hand and pulled her into me giving her a breath taking kiss.

"I would love to be your girlfriend."

**Ashley's POV**

I walk into my house and take my jacket off.

It's about one in the morning and all I want to do is climb into bed and snuggle up with Jen.

After I hang up my jacket and turn around to walk up the stairs I see suit cases.

This can't be good.

I practically run up the stairs and into mine and Jen's bedroom.

Once I reach the room I see Jen standing over a duffel bag shoving clothes into it.

"Jen what are you doing?"

"I am going to go live with my sister for a little while, and I am taking Dawn with me." She hollered.

"Baby, why?"

She throws a shirt into the bag with a lot of force and just glares at me.

"Don't act like you don't know Ashley. This pass month has been hell between us. You are never home and Dawn is always asking where you are. And you haven't touched me this whole month. I have

needs Ashley."

"Baby, we can work this out. Ethan has just been wanting me to do some stuff." I begged.

I didn't want to lose my family, they are everything to me.

"It's always about Ethan. Ethan wanted me to do this, Ethan wanted me to do that. What about what we want. Dawn and I love you Ash, but you're never here. Look it's one in the morning and you're

just coming in. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I love you Ash, but I hate what you have

become. You always told me that you would put us first, but in all reality, you just put us on the back burner."

Tears began to pour down her face and all I wanted to do was wipe them away. Tears of my own had began to slide down my face also.

"I love you Ashley, so much. But I can't take this anymore. You need to get your priorities straight, and I can't sit around and wait for that to happen."

"So what, you want a divorce?" My voice cracked.

"No, I don't want a divorce, but I do want a break. That's why I am going to live with my sister. Call me when you get everything figured out. I still love you Ashley."

She zipped up her bag and slung it over her shoulder before she placed a passionate kiss on my lips.

"I love you too, Jen."

"Then prove it to me."

With that said she exited the room and took all of her bags and Dawn with her.

I just stood there looking out the window and watched as the car and my family drove away from me.

So here I am now sitting on the couch in the dark.

Jen left about three hours ago.

So now it's four in the morning, and the tears are freely falling down my face.

I grabbed the picture off the mantle and stared at it.

We all looked so happy, but I left her down. I let them both down.

I hear the house phone ring and I run to it.

Maybe it's Jen.

Maybe she changed her mind.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Ashley Davies?"

"Yes."

"Well, my name is Officer Jones. I'm sorry to inform you that there's been an accident."

I could feel my heart shattering into a billion pieces.

"What happened is my family alright?" More tears stung my eyes as I began to think the worse.

"Dawn seems to be fine. She has only suffered a broken arm. But Jennifer is in critical condition. There was a truck that ran a red light. The driver was intoxicated. They are both at St. Mary's Hospital right now. Jennifer is currently in surgery. It's important that you come over straight away."

I threw the phone down, got in my car and began to race to the hospital.

My family needed me.

I was going to be there for them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

******Chapter 7**

**Ashley's POV**

My heart was thudding in my ears and it was the only thing that I hear at the moment.

The sound of the engine of my car, the other cars honking at me as I cut them off.

I couldn't hear them.

I could see anything either.

All I could see was the hospital.

I knew that I needed to be there.

So I was going to get there.

I run through the pale white doors that lead into the hospital, I quickly dashed over to the nurses station.

"Excuse me, can you please help?" I hear my voice shakily ring in my ears.

A nurse rolls over in her chair and looks up at me. I already know that my face is covered with tears and that they won't be stopping any time soon.

"How may I help you," the nurse asks nicely.

How any one can stay nice in a hell hole like this is beyond me.

"I'm looking for Jennifer Davies. She was in a car accident," I say as I wipe freshly shed tears away from my face just to have them be replaced.

"I'm sorry dear, but it looks like that she is still in surgery." She said, her voice full of sympathy.

"Well, can you tell me about Dawn Davies? She was in the accident also." I asked hopeful.

The nurse typed in a few buttons on her key board then looked back at me.

"Well, it looks like she is currently getting her arm set into a cast. But if you what to wait in the waiting room by the surgery doors you are more than welcome to." Her eyes held sadness.

They were probably the mirror reflection of my eyes.

I sulked as I walked to the waiting room.

All I could was sit and wait.

After about two more hours a doctor came out of the surgery doors.

I quickly stood up, I needed to hear that Jen was ok. I needed Jen.

She was my everything.

The doctor came closer to me and took her gloves off, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Please, Mrs. Davies, have a seat."

I brushed her hand off and looked into her blue eyes.

"I don't want to sit down, just please tell me that my wife is fine?"

Her eyes saddened and I felt more tears spill out.

"No, no, no! This can't happen. Please tell me she's ok?"

"I'm so sorry. We did everything we could, but there was just to much damage." She explained.

"Can I go see her?" I sobbed out.

She nodded her head and lead me into the surgery room where Jen's lifeless body laid.

I rushed over and pulled her into my arms. This couldn't happen. I needed Jen.

I need her.

"Jen, baby, please don't leave me. I need you. I love you. Dawn needs you. I can't live with out you. If I just spent more time at home, or if I quit my job you would still me here. Baby, please don't

leave me. Come back please. Please." I sobbed as I placed kisses on her cheeks.

I spent over an hour with Jen. Just telling her I love and how much I need her until they told me that Dawn was asking for me.

Then realization hit me even harder. Not only was the love of my life gone, but I was now a single parent. How was I going to take care of Dawn by myself? How was I going to explain to Dawn that

her mommy wasn't going to be around anymore.

I walked into room Dawn was at and sat on the side of the bed facing her. Her left arm was wrapped up in a lime green cast and she smiled as she saw me walk in.

"Hey, mama. Where's mommy?"

More tears came down my face as I looked into Dawn's eyes. She had Jen's eyes.

"Baby, mommy got really hurt in accident. She didn't make it baby. Mommy's not going to be around any more." I explain as I run my hands through her hair.

Her eyes swelled up with tears as I pulled her into a hugged and explained to her that Jen loved us very much, and that everything was going to be alright.

**Spencer's POV.**

I woke up to sound of a loud snore in my ear and I pushed Carmen on the shoulder to wake her up.

"What?"

"You're snoring again."

"Sorry." she said before she rolled over an went back to sleep. I got up out of bed and put my hand on the wall to guide myself to the kitchen. I sat on my usual seat and waited for my breakfast. As I heard my parents finishing up their conversation.

"Her wife was really broken up about it. She broke down a few times. She left about eight this morning with her daughter. But she's a perfect match for Spencer." I heard my mom finish.

"Mom, if you're trying to set me up on a date, you're a little late. I have a girlfriend."

"No, Spencer. There was an accident early this morning. A woman and her daughter. The woman died but the daughter lived and the woman's wife was really torn up about it. But what I'm talking

about her being a perfect match for you is her eyes. She's a perfect match. Luckily she was an organ donor. So if you're up for it we can get you in surgery tomorrow, and you will have sight in about a

three days after that." she explained.

I stirred the cereal that my father had placed in front of me and just thought for a second.

After twenty-two years of being in the dark, I will be able to see everything.

Everything that I have wanted can finally come true.

"Well, all I can say is I'm all yours tomorrow. Bring on the surgery." I took a bite of my cereal and smiled.

By the end of the week I would be able to see everything.

I could start to become something.

I could start my life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**Spencer's POV**

**6 Months later.**

Everything had been fine.

At least I thought everything was fine.

I had my surgery and I began to start my life.

I began to be able to see the world for everything that it has to offer, and its true beauty.

After I got the bandages removed everything became clearer and my life started.

The first face I saw was my mother's.

She had tears in her eyes and she pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

The next face was my father's and his face held the world's biggest smile.

After we came home from the doctors Carmen came over. For the first time I was able to see my girlfriend.

I have to admit she was beautiful.

Her green eyes were piercing and her black hair just added to her beauty.

I thought at that moment that everything was going to be fine.

About four months after I got my sight Carmen asked me to move in with her.

I was a little hesitant at first, but after talking to my parents about it, we all agreed.

They thought that moving in with Carmen was a big step, but they were happy for me.

They were happy that I had found some one that made me happy.

So everything was fine for a while until things got heated between me and Carmen.

But I wasn't ready, and she was getting a little impatient with me.

We haven't been together that long and she already wants to get in my pants.

But I can't.

Something is holding me back.

And that something has lead me here today.

Carmen and I got into another fight.

Of course it was about sex.

She is ready and I am not.

She said so things that didn't need to be said so here I am now staring out into the ocean.

I feel a tear slide down my cheek and I quickly brush it away.

I bury my feet further into the sand and look at the families playing in the sand.

I take my finger and begin to write in the sand.

I don't know what I am writing, but I just need to write.

I feel a small body crash into me and cause me to fall over.

"Dawn, I told you to leave the woman alone!" I hear a husky mouth yell.

I look over and see blue eyes staring up at me.

"Hi, my name is Dawn," I hear the child say with a smile.

"I am so sorry Ms. I tried to catch her but she is just so fast." I hear the older woman say.

I stand up and brush my pants off and pull the little girl to her feet.

"Hello, Dawn, my name is Spencer." I say as I give her a smile and turn to face the the taller brunette. My breath hitches as I pay close attention to her features.

She looks so much like the girl I have dreamed about.

The brown curly hair.

The beautiful chocolate eyes.

She had everything.

"I'm so sorry Spencer, is it? I'm Ashley. Please let me make it up to you?" She asked with a smile.

"No it's ok, I am good."

"Please? We were just going to get ice cream then go home and eat some lunch. I would love if you would come. It's the least I could do." She pleaded.

"I don't know, I mean I just met you." I argued.

"Please, I promise I won't bite. Unless you ask me too." She laughed slightly and her nose crinkled.

One word.

Adorable.

"Well, how can I say no?"

**Ashley's POV**

After we got ice cream we headed over to my house.

As I walked into the house I noticed that Dawn had ice cream all over her.

"Excuse me Spencer, I have to go get Dawn cleaned up. If you want you can just go into the kitchen it's around the corner. Make yourself at home."

"Ok, thank you," She said with a smile.

I pulled Dawn into my arms and walked to her room.

I placed her on the bathroom sink and grabbed a wash cloth and began to clean her face.

"She's pretty." Dawn says as I pull her shirt off and replace it with a freshly clean one.

"Who is pretty?"

"Spencer. She has pretty eyes."

"Yes she does. She has pretty eyes just like you."

"Is mine prettier?" She questioned.

"Of course, baby girl. Come one lets go get some lunch in our bellies ok?"

She nodded her head and we walked back into the kitchen.

I placed Dawn in her high chair and called out to Spencer.

After I didn't get a response I walked further into the house and saw her in the living room, by the fire place.

"Hey, Spencer I was wondering what you would like to have for lunch?"

"Oh, sorry I was just looking at the picture. She's beautiful. What's her name?"

"That was Jen. She died about six months ago in a car accident. We were married for four years and We had Dawn a year after we got married. We were together for six years though. I know she is in

a better place now." I explained.

"It's funny. I got my eyes six months ago." She breathed out.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Well, six months ago I was blind. I had been blind for twenty-two years, but then they found me a donor. So now I can see."

"Wow, I'm happy for you." I said with a small smile.

"I'm sorry about your wife Ashley."

"It's fine, I'm starting to realize that there is nothing I can do. I still love her. God, I miss her so much, but all things happen for a reason. I mean some good came out of it. I quit my job, and now I'm

here for my child. Jen always told me that I loved my job more than her, but after she died I realize that she was right. Not about loving my job more, but about the time I spent at work, compared to

the time I spent with my family. So I quit my job and now I'm always here for Dawn. I'm just pissed at myself. It took me losing my wife to realize what was important to me. Now I know that if I ever

fall in love again to just let everything happen, and not to let work get in the way."

Spencer nodded her head and stared into my eyes. There was something about that eyes, that just kept drawing me in. I just couldn't place my finger on it.

"Mama! I'm hungry!" I hear being yelled from the kitchen.

"I guess it's time to make lunch, come on I'll make what ever you like."

I pushed my hand toward hers and she grabbed a hold of it.

I felt a spark, but brushed it off as I guided our way into the kitchen where a hungry Dawn waited.

**Thank you for all the favorites, reviews and alerts guys. It makes me feel good.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**A/N**** I would just like to say before I start this chapter that I am truly so very much sorry that it has taken this long to post up another chapter. I had a lot of things going on and then on top of **

**that I had a small case of writer's block. Please forgive me for taking so long and I promise to try and keep posting regularly. Thank you for all the support in this story.**

**Spencer's POV**

I pull the car into the drive way and sigh as I see the porch lights on.

I know exactly what that means.

Carmen is still awake, waiting for me. I look at the clock on the dashboard and see that it is a little past one in the morning. I already knew that I was going to get an ear full.

This day is just going great.

Not.

First me and Carmen argue about her not getting any and now she is going to bitch about me not coming home until one in the morning. I am so not looking forward to any of this.

Why couldn't things just be easy between me and Carmen?

That is the least I deserve in the life.

I pull the key from the ignition and slowly walk to the door ready to face the music.

As I enter the house I hang up my jacket in the hall closet and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water. As I was standing in front of the fridge filling my glass with ice, the light to the kitchen flips

on. I turn around to see Carmen glaring holes into me with her hands on her hips. I turn back around and finish getting my water before I walk over to the island and lean against it, facing her.

"Baby, where have you been?" she asked with pure worry in her voice. I know she was worried about me, but I'm still pissed from early. I could be nice, but I don't want to be.

"Why does it matter Carmen? Afraid I was out boning someone else because I'm obviously not giving you any?" I hiss back at with venom seeping from my words.

I see her flinch slightly and I start to feel bad about how I decided to take things.

"No, it is not even like that, baby. You know I would never accuse you of anything like that. I still don't even know why you are mad at me. All I did was ask if you were ready to be intimate, and you

blew up on me." She explains.

I know I overrated but I didn't know what else to do, so I yelled at her.

"I know. I shouldn't have blown up on you, I'm just, I'm not ready. I mean this is the first relationship I have had and I'm still a virgin, and I guess that I just couldn't handle it at the moment I'm sorry."

I said as I realized I was one hundred percent wrong.

She stepped closer to me and grabbed one of my hands as she pulled me into a hug.

"Then why couldn't you just tell me that instead of running away from me all day? Where have you been? I missed you so much, you don't even know." She said as she placed a light kiss on my neck

sending a small shiver down my spine.

"I went to the beach and I met a new friend. She's really pretty and her daughter is adorable. Her daughter tackled me today on the beach because I was sad and Ashley invited me over for lunch.

After that we just got to talking and lost track of time. I'm sorry I made you worry, and I promise to never snap at you when I can't handle a subject. Ok?"

"Ok." She said as I placed a kiss on her lips and grabbed her hand pulling her towards our room.

"I don't know about you Carmen, but I'm exhausted."

That night as I curled up against Carmen I just couldn't shake the thoughts I kept having about Ashley and Dawn and how adorable I thought they both were.

**Ashley's POV**

I feel movement in the bed and slightly open one eye to see Dawn waking up. I look over at the clock on the nightstand and see that it is about ten in the morning. I'm actually kind of shocked. Dawn

hasn't slept in this late in forever.

Dawn raised up from the covers and her hair is a total mess, much like mine.

Ever since Jen died Dawn has slept in the bed with me.

Her room has become useless because she never goes in it.

She never leaves my side, but I completely understand.

Because I didn't just lose my wife, but Dawn also lost her mother.

So I can't pity myself. I still have to move forward with everyday I wake up to.

Because I'm all that Dawn has left beside my parents and I am **not** going to leave her.

"Hey, honey what do you want for breakfast?"

She rubbed her eyes and then looked at me with a smile on her face.

"I know what that means. You want my Captain Crunch don't you?"

She nodded her head excitedly as I picked her up and walked into the kitchen.

I sat her down at the table and placed a bowl in front of her as I filled it with the golden cereal and milk.

As soon as I handed her the spoon she began to dig in.

I turned around and began to make my coffee when I heard her try to ask me a question but her mouth was full.

"What was that baby?"

She swallowed her mouthful of cereal and spoke.

"I want to go to grandpa's today and play with Charlie."

"Ok, but you can't pull Charlie's tail you know that cats don't like that"

"Ok I be good."

"Good, so finish eating, then we'll go take a bath and head over to grandpa's. Sound good?"

She nodded her head as she shoveled another mouthful of cereal in. She stares up at me with those blue eyes.

Those blue eyes could kill me.

I swear I can still feel my heart breaking knowing that Dawn has Jen's eyes.

Sometimes I feel like breaking down or giving up, but I know I can't.

I have to stay strong.

If not for me, then for Dawn.

For the remaining family I have.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**A/N**: It's been forever I know. I've been busy I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update this story.

**Ashley's POV**

I huff loudly as I situate Dawn in my arms. For a three year old she was heavy.

But then I also haven't been to the gym in forever. I haven't had the time to really do anything by myself. Even if I did I wouldn't know what to do.

I'm nothing with out Dawn. She is everything I have left. I feel Dawn move her head and cuddle closer to my neck she must be cold. I wrap my jacket around her and smile as she relaxes. After we got

back from my dad's Dawn wanted to go to the park.

Of course I couldn't deny her.

We only lived about a mile away from the nearest park so we decided to walk there.

But I'm kind of regretting it now seeing as how I have to carry her that whole mile back home.

As I continue to the walk to long mile my conversation with my dad came coming back to me, maybe he was right.

"_So Ashley do you have a girlfriend or anything," My father asks with a little smirk on his face._

"_No, Dad I don't. How could you even ask that? Jen died only six months ago. We were married for four years and together for six years. You can't just expect me to get a new girlfriend because my wife is out of _

_the picture. She was Dawn's mother. She can not be replaced. I loved Jen with everything in my body, and for you to even ask that pisses me off!"_

"_Ashley, honey. I'm not saying that you should go out and get the closest girl near you. I just think that you need to get out and maybe date someone. And as for her being Dawn's mother I know that no one _

_can ever replace her. But she does need another parent Ash. I'm not saying do anything now, but just think about it Ash. Take all the time you need, but Dawn needs more people in her life then me and you."_

My father really pisses me off.

Only because he's right though.

It's true Dawn needs other people in her life. So maybe getting back out there wouldn't be to bad.

Of course I still love Jen and miss her, but I don't think my feelings for her will ever go away. And I don't want them to.

"Hey Ashley!" I hear being yelled from behind me.

I turn around and come face to face with Spencer.

I see her jogging towards me in her sports bra and a pair of black short shorts.

It was December and even in L.A. it was cold.

"I was hoping it was you. I couldn't really tell, but I'm glad it was you," She says as she reaches me and tries to catch her breath. "So what brings you out here, isn't it a little cold?"

I laugh slightly before pointing to her clothes.

"I could say the same thing to you."

"Yeah well I went for a run and it gets hot when you run so don't judge me." She says as she laughs along with me.

"Dawn wanted to go to the park, and I couldn't deny her."

"Aw, does Dawn have her momma wrapped around her pretty little finger?"

"Why yes she does. I wouldn't want to have it any other way."

"So do you mind if I walk with you?" She asks with slight nervousness in her voice.

"Yeah, sure come on. I wouldn't mind having company actually. My father just got done talking to me all about it."

"About having company?"

"No, not that. He just thinks that I should start dating again, but I don't know if I'm ready for it. I still love Jen and I don't think these feelings will ever go away. My dad also said that Dawn needs

some more people in her life then just him and me, and I completely understand that. Because if she doesn't get new people she'll get sick of me."

"I don't think that's possible. I don't think anyone could ever get sick of you." She says as she looks me in the eyes. I look away from her and feel a pain in my chest. Her eyes remind me of Jen's.

I look back up and see that We are across the street from my house.

We walk to the door and I turn back towards her.

"Hey, Spencer. Do you wanna maybe come in and spend some time with me? I mean you don't have to if you don't want to , but if you do then I'll be more than happy that yo-" I felt a hand cover my

mouth.

"Just shut up and open the door, I'll be more than happy to spend some time with you."

"Ok"

I opened the door and start to walk up the stairs before I turn back to Spencer.

"There's food and drinks in the kitchen if you want, just help your self."

"Ok thank you."

I walk into my bedroom which has now become mine and Dawn's room.

I place her underneath the covers and tuck her in for her nap.

I kiss her on the forehead before I make my way back down the stairs and into the kitchen where Spencer is sipping a bottle of water.

I walk over to the fridge and grab me a mountain dew before I sit down across from her at the table.

"How old are you anyway?" I hear Spencer ask. "You know I'm twenty-two but I don't know how old you are."

"I'm twenty-six"

"God you are old!"

"Rub it in why don't you. You're not that much younger than me you know?"

"Four years is a long time."

"Not really"

"Ok Grandma."

We laugh slightly and I truly enjoy the laughter.

"Tell me about you and your wife, Ashley."

I look up at her and her eyes are just locked on me.

I wish she would stop looking at me like that, with those eyes.

"Um, well, we met in high school but we didn't start dating until we were college and she actually chased after me. I was in a relationship at the time she first started liking me and well lets just say

that Jen got wasted one night and just came up and planted one on me, in front of my girlfriend at the time. My girlfriend dumped me right there because I didn't push her away. I loved Jen with all my

heart. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I think what made me fall in love with her was her eyes. She had the most beautiful baby blue eyes. They actually looked exactly like yours."

I feel a lump start to form in my throat and my eyes start to water. I feel a tear slip and I immediately curse myself. I look down at the table and wipe my tears away harshly. I hear her feet shuffling

towards me and I feel her pull me up into her arms.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry."

"Don't you dare apologize to me."

I pull her tighter to me enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms.

I pull back back slightly to where my face is really close to hers.

I look her in the eyes and I feel myself getting lost.

I slide my hand on to her cheek and see her sort of lean in to my touch.

I start to lean forward and she pulls back and steps away from me.

I immediately feel cold.

"Ashley, I have a girlfriend."

"I know I'm sorry I just, I don't know. Please forgive me?"

"I uh, I gotta go."

"Spencer, please?"

"I gotta go."

"At least let me give you a ride."

"No, I rather run. Uh, thanks for the water. Bye Ash."

And she was gone.

**Spencer's POV**

As I step out of Ashley's house I have a million things running through mind.

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and dial my mom's number.

After a few rings she picks up.

"Hey mom I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Sure, honey what is it?"

"Can you get me the file of my donor?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**A/N**: It's been forever I know. Forever doesn't even begin to define how long I have been away from this story. I am so sorry. I'm just trying to focus on school right now before I go off to college. I will

try to post more often but I can't promise anything. I'm sorry.

**Ashley's POV**

The days had slowed down for me.

Each day began to drag on longer than the day that had just passed by.

I could feel my sanity slowly pulling away from me.

But I had to hold onto the little pieces of sanity that I still had with in me.

I had recently gotten a new job.

I was sick of just staying home and having nothing to do.

There was many nights that after I put Dawn to bed I bed grab a beer out of the fridge and just stare at the wall. The television held little interest to me. I had absolutely nothing to do after I took

care of Dawn. I was slowly wasting away into nothing except matter.

Therefore, I got a job of song writing. It was easy I could stay home and still take care of Dawn while also doing one of passions.

But lately things have become super hectic.

Dawn has become more cranky than ever.

She just started kindergarten and one of the kids in her class was picking on her, because when the teacher said to bring in a picture of your family and the kid saw that she had two moms he pushed

her into the dirt.

So I had to deal with that, and I still haven't gotten all of her school supplies yet.

Because of her crankiness and to try and make her feel better I decided to get her a puppy. I got her a Siberian husky puppy named Kido.

But the puppy has done nothing but add to the chaos.

Also I haven't spoken to Spencer ever since I tried to kiss her.

Even though that was only a week ago it has felt like a lifetime.

I still miss Jen.

No doubt about it.

But there is just something in Spencer that draws me in and holds me at her will.

I just can't fight the feelings I get when I'm around her.

I have called her a couple of times but she doesn't answer and I really don't blame her.

Who would want to date me now? I'm pathetic.

I look at the clock on the wall and see that it is a little after three in the morning.

I walk to the fridge and open another beer before I plop down on my recliner and grab my lyric book.

The pages are blank.

I'm pulling blanks.

I don't know what to do.

I hear a loud bang and run into the hall to see that Kido has knocked over a table and broke a vase.

Not to mention that that the damn dog peed on the floor.

"Mama!" I hear Dawn yell for me.

Great, just great he woke up Dawn.

I started to walk to Dawn's room but Kido grabbed my pants leg and started to pull.

"Mama!"

"Kido let go!" I hollered.

The dog continued to tug as Dawn continued to scream for me.

"Jen can you please-" as the words left my mouth tears formed in my eyes.

Jen was gone, and she couldn't help me.

**Spencer's POV**

Jennifer Davies.

_The _Jennifer Davies.

The Jennifer Davies that was married to Ashley Davies.

Ashley Davies.

The woman that currently has so many emotions and confusing thoughts swirling in my head.

But I had Jennifer Davies' eyes.

I had Ashley's wife's eyes.

At first when I got the file I didn't want to believe it.

There could be two million Jennifer Davies' in this world.

But not this one.

This one was Ashley's wife.

Ashley's wife was now a part of me.

I read over the file once again and stared at the picture that stared back at me.

This was definitely with out any doubt Ashley's wife.

I knew that I needed to tell Ashley. She needed to know that part of her wife belonged to me now, but how in the world would I even start that conversation. Especially after she tried to kiss me. I'm

not going to lie I find Ashley attractive and her daughter is nothing but adorable. But I am with Carmen and I love her. I'm not sure if I'm in love with her but there is something there between us, I just

don't know what it is.

But then there is the connection I feel when I'm around Ashley. She makes me feels things I have never felt before. I can't explain them. She can instantly lighten my mood, no matter how depressed I am.

"Hey baby you wanna do something tonight?" I felt Carmen place light kisses on the back of my neck and she wrapped her arms around my waist. When she does this I should feel butterflies or

something. But instead I feel nothing. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Why was I still doing this to her? She didn't deserve this.

She deserved to be with someone that loves her just as much as she loves them.

But I can't let her go.

I just can't.

"I'm sorry Carmen but I uh need to to do something tonight. Maybe tomorrow we can go to the movies or have a quiet dinner here at home?" I suggest as I turn around in her arms and place a peck

on her lips.

I see her eyes fall.

I know she knows she's loosing me.

I just wish I had the balls to end things before I hurt her even more.

"I'm sorry Carmen, I'll make it up to you I promise."

"Whatever." She mutters as she walks away further into the apartment and away from me.

Of course I feel guilty.

Of course I feel the need to go comfort her.

Of course I feel worse than the scum of the earth for doing this to her.

But I need to go see Ashley.

Even if it kills Carmen inside.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Blinded By You**

**A/N**:I honestly have no excuse as to why I have been missing from this story. I guess it's because I've been busy with school and then I had a relationship that didn't do so well. But i'm going to try

and complete this story with out disappearing again. I'm going to try really hard.

**Ashley's POV**

I finally got Dawn to bed after her bath. I seriously don't ever remember her being that stubborn with Jen.

There I go thinking about Jen again.

I swear I'm never going to be able to move on. It's not possible. At least I don't think it will ever be possible.

It seems like my days are repeating themselves.

I take Dawn to school, pick her up, and at the end of the day end up downing two beers and an empty lyric book.

Currently I'm sitting at the kitchen table with Kido barking at my feet.

He's most likely hungry.

I walk over to the cabinet and grab the box of food I got for Kido. I place the food in his bowl and watch as he hungrily eats it. The dog acts like I never feed him.

I open the fridge and see that I am down to two beers. That leaves me with enough for tonight. I'll just have to go to the store tomorrow once Dawn is at school.

I grab a beer and crack it open as I retake my seat at the table. I tap my pen on my lyric book and will lyrics to come to me.

After about ten minutes I slam my head on the table and give up. This is pointless. I used to be amazing with music. It used to come to me so naturally and here I am struggling to come up with one

line.

Not even one line has been written in this damn book. Every single page is blank.

Empty.

Nothing.

White.

That's all they are.

The only writing in the book is on the inside cover saying Property of Ashley Davies.

Other than that though a pen has not graced these pages.

I need to come of with something.

If I don't I'll be fired.

I can't afford to be fired.

I take a swig of my beer and try to think of something when I hear a soft knock at the front door.

I look over at the clock on the stove and see that it's 10:34.

Who would be here this late?

I get up from my seat and make my way to the door with Kido right behind me.

Kido barks at the door and scratches it wanting me to open it.

I open the door and come face to face with Spencer.

Wow I really wasn't expecting her to be here. She looks a little worried.

Kido barks at Spencer making his presence known and I watch as her face lights as as she begins to pet him.

"Awe who's this cute little guy?" She asks in what I would like to call a baby voice.

"That's Kido. I got him for Dawn so she would have something to play with, but he mainly is just stuck up my ass all the time." I respond.

I watch her pet and love on Kido for a little bit longer before I speak again.

"Do you wanna come inside?"

Her face becomes serious again as she stands up from Kido.

Much to Kido's disapproval.

"Yeah, actually I really wanted to talk to you."

I nod my head and open the door wider motioning for her to come inside.

I shut the door behind her and walk back into the kitchen with her behind me and Kido leading me.

I really wish that dog would leave me alone sometimes.

I sit back down the seat I had previously occupied and grab my beer taking another swig.

"You want one?" I ask motioning towards my beer.

I know that I only have one left but I guess I can live with only having one tonight.

"Sure, if you don't mind."

I go to fridge and grab the last beer cracking it open and placing it in front of Spencer.

She takes a sip of her beer and continues to pet Kido who has decided to dub Spencer his new master.

I watch as her eyes drift to my lyric book.

"Have you written anything?" She asks with pure curiosity.

"Nope sadly I haven't had any inspiration. I just keep pulling blanks."

There's another awkward moment of silence before I decide to break it.

"Look Spencer, if you're here to tell me that you don't want to talk to me again for trying to kiss you I understand. I was wrong to try to kiss you, especially seeing as how you are involved with

someone. I can never explain to you how sorry I am. I just hope that maybe one day you can forgive me for doing so." I say without breaking our eyes contact.

"Well thank you for apologizing Ashley, but I'm not here about that."

I see her reach into her bag and she pulls out a file.

"I'm actually here about your wife," She explained.

I felt my heart drop. Whenever someone wanted to talk about Jen I would break down.

I couldn't control it, it just happened.

"Ok, well what about her?" I asked.

"Well, I really don't know how to go about this but uh. Well, you know that I used to be blind and I recently had a matching donor and that is why I can see today. I remembered my mother talking

about an accident before I had my surgery, and then last week when you were talking about your wife, things just sort of added up. But I wasn't 100% certain so I had my mom pull my file so I could

find out who my donor was." She placed the file in front of me. "My donor was Jennifer Davies. My donor was you wife."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N To say i have been long gone from this story would be a total understatement. I am definitely back and I'm am going to finish this story. Only took me two years. I will bounce back and fourth with updating this story and my new one, i am full of great ideas to where i want to take this story, and i would like to thank the people that encouraged me to finished this , besides i hate not finishing what i started, with that said i would like to formally bring back to life Blinded by You.**

**Blinded by You**

**Ch. 13**

**Ashley's POV**

I was staring at the documents in my hands; I could not believe what was being said to me.

Had part of Jen been able to survive the accident? And can that part actually be living in the person seated across from me?

"Wait, what?" I say and run my hands through my hair. Please god, don't be messing with my emotions. "So, you are telling me that after

Jen died her eyes went to you?"

Spencer nods her head and I stare into her eyes, Jen's eyes. I rise from my seat to kneel in front of Spencer. I cup her face and look at

her eyes more closely. We sat

there in silence for awhile. Just staring at each other. As I look further I see Jen in those eyes. Those eyes are in fact hers. I feel tears

beginning to swell in my eyes. I wrap my arms around Spencer's body and just cry into her shoulder.

"Oh, God Jen, I miss you so much," I mutter in between wiping my tears. I pull away from Spencer and she has a look of sadness on her

face. I wipe my face and return to my seat.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Spencer. I don't know why I did that, I apologize," I ramble out.

"No, it is fine I understand. Look I didn't mean to make you upset, therefore I apologize. I just thought you should know the truth."

"Thank you."

She looks over at the clock above the stove and sees that the clock reads 2:47 a.m.

"Look, I better go. I'm sorry I came over so late, I just needed to tell you."

"No, stay please? We have a guest bedroom. You can stay there if you like," I argue hoping she would stay.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I could never intrude on you like that, but I do thank you really. Besides my girlfriend is probably worried sick

about me."

"Right, the girlfriend, sorry," I nod, "I guess I'll just walk you out?"

"That won't be necessary I can see myself out. Sleep well, Ash."

"You too, Spence."

With that said she stood up, gave me a small smile and walked out the front door.

**Spencer's POV**

As I enter mine and Carmen's apartment I see her on the couch watching television. Why is she still even awake? Oh well, I knew I was

going to get an ear full, might as well get it over with.

"Hey, babe what are you still doing up?"

"I don't know Spence, you tell me," she says rather harshly.

I peel off my jacket and walk into the kitchen, I really need a drink.

"Look, I'm sorry ok, I should have called or something, I know."

I hear her footsteps behind me, but instead of saying anything she just stands there until I turn around to look at her. She's leaning

against the doorway into the kitchen, with a sad look on her face. I look at her finally and take in her appearance. She's wearing short

shorts, and a tight tank top, anybody with eyes would want her , but I find myself holding back.

"You don't love me," she finally speaks out.

I look at her as if I'm shocked by her statement.

"What do you mean I don't love you?"

"You never say it."

"Yes, I do."

"When?" She hollers on the brink of tears.

"Carmen, I-"

"Where were you tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where were you? Who were you with?"

"I was with Ashley."

"Ashley? You were with her? Why?"

"Well, I – what does it matter? You are not my master I can hang out with a friend if I want," I counter.

"Yeah well I thought I was your girlfriend."

"You are my girlfriend, babe."

"But you don't love me."

I stayed silent.

"Do you love me?"

I stood there trying to think of what to say but came up with nothing.

"I didn't think so. We shouldn't be together Spencer. Look you can stay here tonight, but I'd like for you to move out."

"So what you are breaking up with me?" I ask.

With tears in her eyes she just nods her head and walks towards what used to be our bedroom. A good girlfriend would have chased after

her and begged for her stay with them, but all I could think about was where I was going to stay.


	14. Chapter 14

**Spencer's POV**

I wake up from my awkward position on the couch and stand to stretch my aching muscles. I look down at the small couch and I am clueless as to how I was even able to fit

on it. I fold up my blanket and grab the pillow I used and re-place them in the closet. Hearing sounds coming from the kitchen I walk in to see Carmen making some coffee.

She used to always make me coffee when we were together.

"Hey," I say quietly yet loud enough for her to hear.

She turned around slightly to catch a glance at me and then turns back to her coffee pot. She grabs an extra cup out of the cabinet and pours and extra cup. Placing the extra

cup in front of me she mutters out, "Here, drink up."

"Thanks."

She merely nods her head.

"Carmen, can we talk?"

"Drink your coffee. I'll help you pack."

"Carmen, please let's talk."

"I have got work today Spencer, I don't have time to talk. Just pack your stuff."

Defeated, I drink my coffee slowly before heading to what used to be mine and Carmen's room. Once I enter I see a suit case on the bed practically full and another empty

one waiting to be filled.

Carmen brings more clothes out of the closet and throws them in the empty suitcase.

"That's all your stuff from the closet, all that's left is the bathroom and the drawers."

"Ok."

I clean out the drawers of my belongings and then I clear the bathroom of more stuff that belongs to me. I carry everything out to car and walk back into the foyer to see

Carmen standing there. I dig into my back pocket and pull out the apartment key. I hand over the key to her and I notice the saddened look on her face. I hold my arms open

and she slowly walks into them so I can hug her. Her arms stay to her side and I give her body one last squeeze.

"I'll miss you," I say being sincere and once again she just nods her head.

I head to the door and step out but turn around to say one thing.

"Look Carmen, I really am sorry that I could not be the girlfriend you wanted."

Her eyes finally meet mine and they seem cold.

"You were before you met Ashley," she said as she shut the door in my face.

That hurt.

A lot.

I sat in my car for a while, just wondering where I was going to go. I could go home to my parents but then I would have to deal with all of their questions, and that is the last

thing I wanted to do. Unsure of what to do I put my car in drive and make my way to the nearest park, it would be there where I could think and clear my mind about

everything that had happened. Carmen's words kept swarming through my head.

"_You were before you met Ashley." _

She was right; I had changed since I first met Ashley. There was just something about her that drew me into her and I could not put my finger on it, but I felt comfortable

around Ashley. And Dawn was just the cutest thing ever; I could never get tired of her. But her mother was beautiful and with the both of them I felt as if I truly belonged

somewhere. Something I never one hundred percent fully felt with Carmen. Thinking back to the time where Ashley almost kissed me, I wish I had let her. But I know that,

that would have been unfair to Carmen, and I am no cheater. I could never cause that kind of pain to someone. Thoughts of Ashley kept running through my mind, I knew I

had feelings for her, but I knew I could not act on them. At least not when I was with Carmen. I sat there in my car for hours just thinking and when I looked up out of my

daze it was dark outside. I check my phone and it read 12:37. Not knowing where I was going to go I recline my seat back and turn on my side, making sure to lock my

doors. Looks like this car seat will be my bed for the night.

**Ashley's POV **

After breakfast Dawn insisted that we go to the park, and seeing as to how she has me wrapped around her tiny little finger, I will do anything for my baby to make her

happy.

"Momma, let's go to the swings. I wanna go high!" Dawn screams out excitedly as she runs off towards the swings.

She places herself in the swing and grips it tightly.

"Make me go high momma please?" She questions as she gives me that puppy dog pout.

"Of course, Babygirl."

I pushed Dawn on the swing for about fifteen minutes, and she would scream out in glee. It made me happy knowing she was enjoying herself.

"Let's go to the jungle gym now, Momma."

"After you my lady."

She started to run towards the jungle gym but then stop mid-step.

"Look Momma, that's Spencer's car," she screams out as she takes off towards the car.

"Dawn, Spencer is probably out for a run."

"Momma, Momma, look! It's Spencer! She's here!" She screamed out with excitement as she banged her tiny fist on the glass. I see Spencer's head pop up, and then she gets

out of the car. She stretches her body, and I stare at her for a second or two too long. She rubs her eyes and I can tell that she just woke up. Bending down, she picks Dawn

up and gives her a hug as I finally reach them.

"Spencer, I could not help but notice, but were you sleeping in your car?" I question honestly curious.

She scratches the back of her neck and nods.

"Yeah, um, Carmen kind of kicked me out."

"What, why?"

"Let's just say that I wasn't a great girlfriend and she got sick of me. Also last night I had no place to go so I came here to think and by the time I cleared my head it was

already dark, so I just slept in my car."

"So this is bed?"

Once again she just nods.

"Momma, Spencer can stay with us!"

"No I could never intrude on you like that," She says trying to decline Dawn's offer.

"Yes, you stay with me and Momma."

"I can't-"

"It's no use to argue with her you will lose, come on Spencer we won't bite. Besides an actual bed has to be more comfortable than your car."

She takes a second but then nods her head.

"Fine I'll come stay with you, but only until I can find a place of my own."

"Ok, but know you can stay as long as you want."

"Thank you Ashley, and you too cutie," she says as she kisses Dawn's cheek.

I nod towards Spencer's car.

"Mind giving us a ride to your new home? We walked."

"Of course not get in."

I buckled Dawn in the back seat and got in the front seat next to Spencer. I looked over at her as she drove to our house, and I smiled.

I just smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ashley's POV**

I had just moved the last big box of Spencer's belongings into the what used to be Dawn's bedroom/ guest room, with Spencer following close

behind me. I sit the box down on her new bed as she takes a look around the room.

"This room is huge Ash, it is definitely a lot more room than I need," She said as she set her boxes down on a desk.

"Yeah, well it is either you sleep here or the couch, I am not picky, but my ass is rather fond of that couch on Saturday mornings."

She laughs slightly and gives me a smile.

"I do not know what to really say besides thank you so very much, if it was not for you I would be on the streets. And you do not have to worry

about me over staying my welcome I will be gone as soon as I can find a place of my own, I promise," She rambles.

"Spence, don't worry about. Stay as long as you want and or need. Besides it will be nice to have someone else in the house," I say scratching

the back of my neck, avoiding her eyes at my last sentence. "But uh, yeah. Make yourself at home, I can help you unpack if you need help, and

um, in about an hour I plan on going to the grocery store cause you can not really feed your family without food. Not that I consider you family

or anything, shit, I did not mean it like that, I'm just going to go downstairs and bash my face into the counter as I make a grocery list," I say

as I exit her new room and shut the door behind me.

"Idiot!" I say as I smack my forehead. God I feel so stupid.

"That's not nice Mama! No name calling," Dawn says to me with a stern look as she points a little finger at me.

"That is right baby no name calling Mama is sorry. How was your nap," I ask her as I pick her up and begin to carry her towards the kitchen.

"It was good. I had a dream."

"Oh really? What was it about pumpkin?"

"You and me and mommy were all playing at the beach, and then Spencer came and mommy went away," she says with a sad voice.

I hold Dawn close to me and kiss her forehead, sometimes I forget how hard all of this is on her. Because I didn't just lose my wife, but Dawn

lost her mother.

"Is Spencer taking mommy's place?"

I look Dawn in her baby blues and shake my head.

"No baby, no one is taking your mommy's place. No one could ever replace your mommy ok?"

"Ok mama."

I sit her down at the table and give her some gushers. Those will keep her busy as I make my grocery list.

**Spencer's POV**

I just bound down the stairs when I hear Ashley and Dawn talking to each other in the kitchen. Now I am not one for ease dropping but I heard

my name so I got curious.

"You and me and mommy were all playing at the beach, and then Spencer came and mommy went away," I hear Dawn say with sadness filling

her tiny voice.

I move closer to the kitchen so I can hear them better.

"Is Spencer taking mommy's place?"

I see Ashley shake her head and she looks so sad.

"No baby, no one is taking your mommy's place. No one could ever replace your mommy ok?"

"Ok mama."

Ashley then sits Dawn down and I then decide that it would be alright for me to enter the kitchen.

"Ok so most of my stuff is put away and I am ready to go to the store whenever you are."

Ashley turns around and gives me a slight smile.

"Just let me finish the list and we can go."

XXX

Ok so Ashley is like a little kid in a grocery store. She seriously is riding on the back of the cart down the aisles screaming "Weeee!" with Dawn

in the cart seat in front of her. Little kid in deed. It's the little things like this that make me fall more in love with her. I mean LIKE! Fall more in

like with her. Not love, like!

"You know Ash, I thought that Dawn was the little kid," I say laughing at her as she throws sugary treats into the cart.

"I might be twenty six but I am still a kid at heart," she responds as she sticks her tongue out at me.

"So anyway Spencer, what do you like to eat?"

"Well I like bread," I state simply. I don't want Ashley spending her money to feed me. She could do more important stuff with her money; she

does not need to waste it on me.

"Come on Spence, what do you want besides bread? Maybe something with substance?"

"I like milk too."

She shakes her head at me.

"I am going to fill this cart with whatever I think you will eat if you do not tell me what you want. So stop being complicated and just grab what

you want, or tell me and I will grab it," she explains.

"Well, I really do like Captain Crunch."

As soon as those words left my mouth both Dawn and Ashley looked at me with bright eyes.

"We both love Captain Crunch, keep this up Spence and I will make you part of this family," she says as she pushes the cart towards the cereal

aisle, and I can't help but think how much I would love to be part of their family.

XXX

After we load all of the grocery bags into Ashley's trunk, she makes sure to strap Dawn in her car seat then come around and gets in the

driver's seat. As she goes to lay her hand on the arm rest she accidently rests her hand on top of mine. When she notices this she goes to pull

her hand away, but I just flip my hand over and interlock our fingers. She looks over at me with a small smile and her hand relaxes in my mine,

and that is how our hands stayed all the way home.


End file.
